Divorce Coaching

The field of coaching has taken hold in recent years as an alternative to traditional forms of therapy or counseling. Coaching programs abound and its graduates often practice, free of state scrutiny or licensing requirements. I advertise services as a Divorce Coach. However, I do not view my charge to simply talk with clients and ask them how their impending divorce “makes them feel.” I do not feel that attorneys or mediators who offer a coaching service need resort to platitudes or canned phrases to help their clients through a divorce. Rather, divorce coaching offers a client the chance to get reasonable feedback on how their divorce is progressing and the quality of the professional services they are receiving.

My preference for my clients is to see them employ divorce mediation for resolution of the matters being contested in their divorce. However, since you need two willing partners to have a proper mediation process, it is often the case that the mediation cannot take place. It is likely that divorce is often the result of a breakdown in communication between the spouses. It is not surprising therefore that if one person desires mediation, their partner will oppose it. My work as a coach is therefore aimed at the partner who was spurned in their attempt to mediate their dispute.

My work as a Divorce Coach can be done in person, preferably, or over the phone. I have 5 objectives in my Divorce Coaching. These objectives are universal in their application and can apply to all divorcing parties. They are outlined as follows:

1. A person getting coaching needs constant reminder that litigation is costly and traumatic. They need support in attempting to resolve their issues in the least hostile manner possible. They may need to discuss this with their Coach. They certainly need to be reminded to ascertain that their attorney subscribes to such a philosophy and is working accordingly.

2. Few people who are not attorneys will know how to evaluate the work of their attorney. A Coach can assist in helping the party decide what type of legal service they need and desire. In addition, the Coach can help the client determine if the professional service rendered by their attorney is effective, given their needs and goals.

3. A Coach will often know of services available to those going through divorce that are related to psychological well-being, economic well-being, and the well-being of the children (who are often most impacted by the divorce). Discussions on this topic can be of great value to the client and are to be encouraged.

4. A Coach can be available to a client for quick calls and for quick “pep talks”. This is not always possible with one’s therapist or counselor. The Coach should have expertise in the divorce process, something other professionals may not possess.

5. The Coach is available after the divorce process, as well. At the time the attorney bows out, post-divorce, lingering issues may still confront the client. A Coach can be very helpful in this regard.

A good Divorce Coach can be part legal advisor, part therapist, and part trusted friend. The exact relationship needs to be determined in each professional undertaking. The rewards of successful Coaching can greatly aid the client is preparing for the “rest of their life.” Divorce Coaching is worth your consideration if you are facing divorce. Make your choice wisely.

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